Playing a Losing Game
by princesscyan
Summary: Sometime after Eclipse but just before Breaking dawn. Bella and Edward's relationship has been going great, but when tradgedy strikes the Cullen family, everyone must learn to cope. (Some OCs)
1. Chapter 1

_Edward Cullen POV_

It was dark outside of the dirty window at Bella's house. I watched a little trickle of condensation for awhile, guessing which droplet would win the little race to the bottom. Bella shifted slightly and settled herself in closer to me. Her hot breath was right on my neck but I didn't mind. I softly patted her hair with the arm underneath her and gave her a soft kiss on her temple. She didn't speak much in her sleep tonight. She must be exhausted.

I watched my Bella, thinking of how much I loved her. It was weird to think that only a few years ago I would have laughed at anyone in the face if they told me what I would be doing at this very moment. I never knew love before Bella. Sure, I briefly considered being with Tanya in the biblical sense, but extinguished the thought. Perhaps it was my upbringing but I couldn't casually be with someone in that way without some sort of deep connection. Even now, with Bella, I don't even try to think of being with her. It is all to overwhelming and makes me anxious. She has been pressuring me to do so, but I am very clear on my boundaries with her. It's not fair to either of us, I know, but that is the way it has to be. I don't want to hurt her. I couldn't bear it. I smiled when I saw my mother's ring on her finger. It looked beautiful on Bella.

Bella finally woke up. She was so beautiful when she first opened her eyes. "Good morning," she said tiredly. I excused myself and went downstairs to allow her time to get ready. Charlie had already gone to work so it was only us in the house. I heard the shower running and it was sexually exciting for me to think of Bella in there. I pushed the thought out of my mind. I decided to be helpful and cook breakfast for Bella. It would also distract me from thinking of her slight curves...

"You didn't have to do this," she said as she came down the stairs drying off her soaking wet hair. I had made eggs and toast. It was all I could do on such short notice but Bella beamed with joy. "I could've made something myself, you know." Her smile brightened up my whole day. She interrupted my thoughts, "So, what do you want to do today?" I thought about it for a moment, "Let's go to our meadow." Bella nodded and stuffed her breakfast into her mouth eagerly. I chuckled quietly. In that moment, I swear I never loved anyone as much as I loved her.

On the drive to our meadow, I heard Bella softly humming her lullaby. She glanced at me and I didn't look away. She look so at ease, so perfect. "Keep your eyes on the road," she scolded. I chuckled, "How can I when I have an angel in the car next to me." She rolled her eyes and looked away but I saw her smile at me in the reflection of the window. I checked the backseat to make sure the picnic basket was in order. Of course it was. I was just being paranoid. I want everything to be perfect for her. She deserves it. How on Earth could I have been lucky enough to meet this divine creature named Bella. I put the brakes on the car and opened the car door swiftly for her. She grumbled under her breath about the twenty first century and grabbed the basket. We walked hand in hand this time. I knew how much Bella hated to be carried. It took only fifteen minutes to get to the clearing but it felt torturous for me.

I spread the blanket out perfectly. Bella laid on her stomach and carelessly picked stray dandelions. "Why do you keep staring at me," she asked. "You're beautiful. You understand that?" She began to protest but I put my finger up, "You. Are. Gorgeous. I swear to you, I have never seen a more radiant woman in my life." She blushed and that familiar burn in my throat made its way to the forefront of my mind. I welcomed it, knowing that as long as I felt it, the longer my Bella would be human. I secretly hoped she would forget about me and find a man that could provide for her things I could never give her but I also secretly wanted to keep her for myself. It was torture. As I was thinking this, Bella reached for a sandwich in the basket, revealing an inch of cleavage. A new kind of lust aroused in me, but I kept control. I am always composed. I had a talk with Emmett about how to avoid certain thoughts to avoid certain bodily reactions.

Bella awkwardly re-positioned herself to keep her head in my lap. She sighed contentedly. I unnecessarily gulped fighting to restrain myself from taking her right then and there. She twirled her engagement ring around her finger absentmindedly and straddled my lap. "Are you sure you'd like to wait until marriage?" I sighed, "Yes. It's what's right," although the strain in my jeans told me otherwise, "Bella, I want to do things right with you." She kissed me not-so-chastely and ran her hands from the front of my chest to my thighs. I instinctively placed my hand behind her hair at the base of her neck and gently pulled her closer to me. She had to break for hair and was breathing heavily trying to catch her breath. I placed soft kisses on her warm collarbone and looked back at her face to see her pouting. "What's wrong?" She turned around and sat in my lap with her back to me, "I just wanted to- it doesn't matter." Bella pulled her knees towards her and hugged them. "Are you crying? Please don't cry," I pleaded. She shook her head no, not looking at me. I couldn't bear it any longer.

* * *

_Bella Swan POV_

Edward ran his hands through my hair. His cool touch was like fire against my skin. He turned me around so that I could face him and kissed me. It was deeper and more passionate than he'd usually allow himself to be. He slowly coaxed my mouth open and invaded with his cold tongue. I felt my nipples harden under my bra. Suddenly, all of my clothes were beginning to feel too tight and too hot to wear. Edward seem to feel the same way too and promptly removed his shirt. It sparkled lightly under the careful eye but not enough to draw attention. I traced his subtle abs with my finger and he shivered at my touch. He moved some hair on my shoulder out of the way and placed his lips on my neck and sucked very lightly. I unsuccessfully tried to stifle a moan. I felt him grin against my skin. Edward looked me in the eyes and said, "Are you sure?" I didn't trust my voice so I nodded. He put me on my back on the blanket and slowly pulled a string on my shirt that caused it to tear in a straight line vertically, exposing my black lace bra to him. He gasped as he took in the full view of me. "It's a shame that I'm just going to have to destroy it," he whispered in my ear.

He undid the buckle in my jeans with much trepidation, glancing back at me trying to detect any hesitation on my part. The pulsating in my center was becoming much more bothersome with each painfully slow action Edward did. I quickly wiggled out of my jeans to hurry things along. I'm so thankful I decided to wear my matching bra and panties today. Edward was too. He lifted my butt to remove my soaked black undies. Edward leaned down to kiss my skin just below my naval and kissed a trail all the way down to my clit. Another moan escaped my lips. Edward slipped a finger inside of me and pumped evenly and slowly. I attempted to commit every sensation and every movement to memory. I felt myself becoming more and more aroused. "Wait," I stopped Edward, "I want to feel you inside me." Edward nodded and swiftly removed his slacks and briefs. I sat up on my elbows to see. His erect cock was staring me in the face. I sat up, grabbed it and licked the little drop of pre-cum from the tip. "Bella," he groaned and I took more into my mouth. I went deeper and deeper with every thrust. I abruptly stopped and laid back down on the blanket and opened my legs for him. Edward aligned himself and asked me with my eyes if this is what I truly wanted. I did. I have never wanted anything more in my whole life. He thrusted slowly and became quicker. Gasps of pleasure filled the otherwise empty meadow. "Edward...I'm going..." I fell apart at his mercy. A vibration of pleasure filled my entire body and Edward's orgasm set me off again. Wave after wave of pleasure rolled through me. Edward pulled out his sensitive cock and cuddled next to me. "I love you" he whispered. "I love you too."


	2. Chapter 2

_Edward Cullen POV_

I sat at my piano, stunned. I needed a little time away from Bella to get my thoughts in order. I lifted the lid of my piano but didn't, no, couldn't play anything. I thought of Bella's beautiful, tiny body in my hands and how I'd have never thought someone so small could make me feel like they were meant to be with me. I thought about her tiny waist with my hands on her sides, almost touching. Esme, Carlisle and Emmett had gone out for whatever. The rest of the family was somewhere around the house thinking quietly to themselves. Alice, however, was trying to decide whether or not to ask me how_ it_ went. _I swear I wasn't trying to see anything_ she thought to me. I sighed and as I was about to yell to her that it was okay to come down, she was by my side in an instant. Jasper came downstairs as well. "How did you day with Bella go?" he asked. I turned my face away to hide the embarrassment. I'm over a century old I should not have to feel ashamed that I did what naturally comes to humans... and vampires. Alice hugged me, "You don't have to tell us if you don't want to." Good. Because I really don't want to talk about those kinds of things with my sister. She turned on her heels and walked away swiftly. Jasper stood there slightly awkward and followed Alice upstairs with bedroom thoughts in mind.


End file.
